Healer
by DoeMaid3n
Summary: Esa Grev is a high-ranked Force Healer in an obscure infirmary on Devaron, in the shadow of the destroyed Temple of Eedit. Little is known about the Healers, who channel the Force in mysterious ways. But after Esa awakes one night when a "knife of memory" slashes through her dreams, and finds a stranger with a strange message, she realizes the First Order wants to learn all it can.
1. Chapter 1

I awoke to total darkness, so dawn must still be hours away. Were my eyes open? The panic of the dream ebbed slowly away as I felt around for the stone I wore around my neck. There it was, beneath my shift on a long, leather thong as always. I pulled it out to rest on my clammy chest as I slowed my breath. No, not a dream. A memory. A knife of memory in my sleep.

"Touch me," he had said, in that curious half-whisper of his. I could almost see the wry twist of his mouth even now, his eyes carefully blank and piercing. Bare-chested, he had knelt before me in the cave two miles from the Temple on that humid summer day. It was still a boy's chest then, mostly ribs and collar bone. "I want to know what's inside." I had missed the animal fervor in his voice then, hypnotized by his supplicant posture. And I had knelt, my knees grinding against the coarse sand of the cave floor; I placed my palms flat against him, breathed deep, gone inside, and next had awoken two days later to a darkness much like this one, in my bed, with no memories of how I arrived there and shiny, taught weals stretching over the heels of both palms.

But in my sleep his voice had come clear, low, and lethal, as I had heard it that day, and as if I heard it now. The echo rang in my head. I made myself relax the grip I held on the crystal around my neck. Not Kaiburr, no one was stupid enough to wear that freely nowadays. But finely-cut enough to leave marks that throbbed from the force of my clutch. I let out a long hiss of breath. I was in my room. My room, I repeated, chant-like. Alone, and safe.

There was no going back to sleep now. Slowly, I raised myself on one elbow. Pain shot down my right arm into my hand, and I winced. I would need to make a poultice for it, and grimaced at the thought of wearing the foul-smelling herbs all day. I should have done it yesterday, when I had strained under the weight of carrying boiling water to and from the birth rooms. A stab of annoyance shot through me. That was apprentices' work, and though I'd only admit it to myself, I resented doing it, even if it was only temporary until the new initiates would arrive in the spring. There had been an astonishing number of new mothers this winter, and far too many sickly births. We would need the help soon. Until then, it was left to me and Healer Lentis, along with our staff of nurses, who were worn out despite their skillful ministrations.

I would tell myself for now, in the darkness, that the pain smoldering in my shoulder was just from those ordinary disciplines of a Healer's life on an ordinary day. The fact that it was an old injury - decades old - meant nothing. I pushed the thought away, and flicked on the light beside my cot. Outside through the window I could see it was still an inked, moonless night. How long had I been asleep? It had felt like hours, but perhaps not that long. I stretched out my legs, sitting on the edge of the bed, and reached for my robe. No longer tired, I'd go find something useful to do.

Black. The Healer's dress. I felt the rough fabric of the robe beneath my fingers as I walked down the dimly-lit corridors to - where exactly? I sighed, but kept walking. I liked the black. Some didn't. The Devaronian nurses at my station preferred earth tones, but I thought the black lent us solemnity, or inspired confidence. I liked that the dyed homespun covered me from neck to feet, allowed me to move noiselessly, erased my defining features and allowed whatever patient I treated to simply see the clinician, not the person. To those who thought the dark hues smacked too much of those Imperial lords from years ago, I had always waved a dismissive hand. But there was too much of black around me now, the remnants of the black memory still tugging at the edges of my mind, and I quickened my step, deciding to make for the library.

At the center of our small infirmary was a library, filled with references for treatments and guides for herbiculture. But in the side room where Healer Lentis and I kept a small office, in a locked box were some of the ancient texts of our craft. I wanted to see them now. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but the thinning parchment under my fingertips calmed me. But as I approached the wooden door, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned swiftly, clutching again the stone that hung almost as low as my waist. To my relief, it was one of my nurses, Geena, looking tired.

"Healer Grev, there's someone here for you," she panted, as if she had been running.

"Someone? At this hour?" I felt the spider-crawl of cold fear down my spine, and fingered the songsteel filigree around the crystal.

"Yes, lady," she said, gesturing in the opposite direction. "He is with Healer Lentis now, in the receiving rooms." Though Greena was kind and gentle with all our patients, the expression in her eyes told me that whether I wanted to or not, I'd be coming with her.


	2. Chapter 2

Having dropped my crystal down the neck of my robe, I closed the door to the receiving rooms behind me. At the lock's click, Healer Lentis looked up from where she sat. She faced a man across the hearth of the large sandstone fireplace. He stood, leaning on the mantle and gazing into the flames flickering faintly on the hearth. He did not look up.

Lentis beckoned me silently with a slight incline of her head. As I tread toward them, I could feel something - a weight gathering in my mind. I tensed, but forced blankness on my face as Healer Lentis said, "Grev, thank you for coming. The Captain has asked to speak with you. I trust you do not mind." Her gaze pierced me, and I could tell she was attempting to divide my mind, but it had never worked before, and wouldn't now.

Silence followed. The Captain (I assumed) continued to study the glowing coals as if whatever he had come for could be revealed there. When he made no movement, Lentis slowly rose and, glancing at me one final time, remarked, "I shall leave you. Please let me know if," - and she faltered, clearly trying to ascertain if the stranger heard her, but when no sign came, continued, "-if you should require anything." With a curt nod, she left, the keys on her belt clanging. I gazed a moment after her before turning back to the man before me, as I heard her draw the door shut and slide the lock into place.

Despite the misgiving tingling in my very fingertips, I was determined he would speak first. When he still stared, silent, into the fire, I made a small sigh in my throat and sat. I didn't feel terror, but rather dread. I felt a sudden, ridiculous urge to push him away, but mastered myself, waiting.

Abruptly, he turned and fixed his eyes on me - or, should I say, his eye, covered as his left socket was with a black patch. The other was a pale gray, and I noted that, in addition to the severe lines of his razor-thin figure, he also wore black. On his hat, thrown up on the mantle, gleamed the insignia of the First Order.

"You are Esa Grev." It was a statement, and I nodded.

His eye swept me from my black collar to where the tips of my animal skin boots peeked from beneath the hem of my robe. I remained still, as a fawn might, when wondering if the wolf is nearby.

"We've been looking for you," he said, as he sat in one lithe movement. Dimly, in the back of my mind, I felt a warning not to take my eyes off this man.

"And you are?" I kept my voice level, though every cell in me screamed to flee.

Appraising me a moment, he finally said, "Captain Scen. I am in the employ of the Supreme Leader. I've been sent to ask that you accompany me to the Alterra System."

I let this obvious lie hover between us for a moment, studying him. Healers had limited telepathic abilities, and I didn't want to waste energy when he would clearly sense me trying. He wasn't telling the truth, but he was an adept liar; he didn't fidget, or look away, and as I reflected, I had the opportunity to observe the one long scar that ran the length of his face and disappeared down his collar.

"The Supreme Leader is dead," I finally said.

This did surprise him; I could see his eyes widen ever so slightly around the corners at my words and tone. "And how do you know that?" he said softly.

"His death? I felt it, of course," I said, smoothing my skirt and glancing down at my hands. This was true. Though it had been months ago, both Lentis and I had felt a definite shift. In fact, two shifts almost in succession. This far out, the First Order had little influence, being as they were a largely unstable military junta. Humans were (mostly) not welcome on Devaron, and Lentis and I were only tolerated because of our healing powers and because we took an interest in the Eedit ruins. Any guilt I felt over remaining in this quiet corner of space while the First Order terrorized others was always quickly subsumed by my many healing duties. But there was always an undercurrent of knowing, and Lentis and I felt the current surge and ripple in a way that signaled something major. I hadn't known why or where, but the infusion of light we both felt told me that Snoke had been defeated. I had spat on the ground of the infirmary then and there, once we agreed this was the cause. I almost did again, now.

Scen nodded, but something had changed in the room. Did this Supreme Leader not tell him who I was? Now I wondered if I had revealed too much. Did he understand what powers the Force lent to Healers? Many confused us with the Jedi Knights, but our powers were more subtle, less fire and more kindling. I captured a laugh that almost escaped my lips as I wondered if he could possibly think I possessed a lightsaber; a common misconception, but a pervasive one. Healers had no need of them. I kept my tone even as I continued, "But I assume a new Leader has appointed himself. And if so, I wonder what he wants with me." I cocked my head. "And why he would send a mere captain on any errand of any importance." I flicked my gaze upward to meet his.

"Why, I thought that would be obvious," he said, his low voice almost a purr. "We had need of your healing talents." He made no move to acknowledge my barb.

I barely kept myself from laughing. "I think we both know I will not be providing you with them," I said, and rose to go, giving in to the desire to escape. "Surely the Supreme Leader is wise enough to know that."

"But you will," Scen said, and the steel in his voice made me pause.

"And why is that?"

"You see," he stood too, now, smoothing his impeccable breeches, "I came prepared. The Supreme Leader expects to be obeyed."

I said nothing, frozen. My mind flicked back and forth, wondering what the price would be.

He stepped toward me, and the dying embers cast a flame into his good eye. The pupil blazed as it held my gaze. "The Supreme Leader's Dreadnaught has the coordinates of this…" he trailed off, his voice dripping with contempt, " _insignificant_ planet." He finished, clasping gloved hands behind his back. My stomach tightened.

"Devaron has largely escaped our notice, and so to eliminate it completely would be no hardship on the First Order," he drawled lethally.

It only took me half a moment to decide to go with him, to sort out the consequences later, but in that half a moment I heard all the cries - of Devaronians, of the nurses, of the patients slowly healing in our infirmary wings, of Healer Lentis as her very flesh might burn up in incineration - balloon up through my gut and ring in my ears. But I couldn't let him know that yet. I cast my gaze down, watching the fire. My shoulder, still tender from when I woke, throbbed with that old pain. Sometimes stress triggered it, but I ignored it.

"It's a common First Order tactic to threaten and posture with annihilation," I said, taking a step closer to him. "But if you did destroy us, it would bring unnecessary conflict with our allies to your doorstep. I can't think your Supreme Leader is stupid enough to waste resources on that. Especially if you are seeking a Healer."

I could see that my chess move pleased him. He smiled. "Astute. I can see you have every inch of the iron backbone I've been told about. But I won't resort to physical violence against you," he said, as he saw me go rigid. "No, you will be coming with me. And it will have nothing to do with the safety of the planet."

"Oh, really?" I snapped, losing patience. "And why is that?"

"Because Supreme Leader Ren bids you come, and he will be obeyed." He watched me closely as the words landed. Each one felt like a stone against my rib cage. I said nothing.

"Or perhaps you remember him as Ben Solo," he said, and my shoulder pulsed with a sudden flame of pain. My mind worked crazily to find balance, but I no longer could breathe. No, it couldn't be. The low warning I felt gave way to outright panic. There could be no possible way, the danger would be too great. Every instinct in me screamed to run, but the name - his very name - tugged low in my belly, and I felt the same perverse pull toward it that makes a terrified child peer under their bed. The need to see.

"Well then," I demurred, willing calm into my face. "When do we leave?"


End file.
